Let’s explore the gains to be found in loss! You might be surprised just how effective loss can be to our long-term benefit.
How do you deal with loss? What is loss?
Are you prepared to have loss in order to gain?
Could it be that loss and—more importantly—learning how to deal with loss is simply as natural to life as the organic vegetable section at your local grocery store?
Loss, like vegetables, don’t always suit my taste; but I know I need them to be healthy. Loss can be nourishing for the soul and character even as they’re gagged down like… Brussel sprouts, beets, kale, and cabbage. Oh my!
In The On-Purpose Person (page 93), you learn about fighters, floaters, fleers, and flitters as “styles” for dealing with stress and life. There, you’re encouraged to be a navigator, one who leads and manages through change rather than reacting to and being a victim of it. It takes an inherent calm and peace.
As a formerly ranked USTA Florida Section tennis player, when I’m in “the zone” on the court, I play without the stress and strain of forcing my play. My play clicks right along instinctively. The secret to getting and staying in the zone to some degree is detaching from the usual expected outcome—to win the match. I learned to “play with abandon” from a Tim Galloway’s The Inner Game of Tennis (1974). It is a wonderful book on playing tennis that also translates into life lessons.
The ability to play better comes from navigating the experience positively. It is hard to keep this “above the fray” mindset, but when one does, the body and mind are able to perform seemingly without effort.
In business, on the tennis court, or on the golf course, I’ve seen far too many talented people tighten up for fear of loss. This “choking” isn’t a personal failure, it is a growing experience if we allow it to be instructive versus destructive.
Oddly, loss is important to our health, well-being, and finances because it helps us to mature and grow. Sailors on a ship may not be aware of the big picture or have the experience to place what is happening to the ship in a proper context. A ship’s captain, however, brings the capacity to navigate the shoals and shores safely even in a storm.
If you are learning—and we’re all life-long learners—then anticipate there are situations when you are a sailor and other times when you are a captain.